I probably should make this blog post at the very end of 2015 but I feel like.. This first half of my year has been very eventful, I could just sum it up in two halfs. So this is half No.1.
I'm just gonna split all my good and cool and horrible events in categories.. So let's get started.
⚡ ⚡ School ⚡ ⚡
Oh the struggle with the place I liked to call hell. I still do. I did hate school and I am sad that I did because I know that some people ( at least in my school ) really liked and enjoyed it.. Even studying sometimes., But for me ??? I liked to think that studying has the word 'dying' in it for a reason. I was really bad at school not gonna lie. I hated my teachers, my teachers hated me and just as if it wasn't enough already.. Everyone started hating me.
Why, you may ask. Well, I'm not quite sure myself to be honest. I think it was that I liked to speak my mind and I didn't like to talk sh*t about people ( this is a family blog I'm not gonna swear ). I think it started when I first discovered tumblr back in 2012 ( i think ). But if I'm completely honest, it all happened in 2014. I also like to call it "the year I lost all of my friends".
I discovered tumblr and everything was fun and games until I followed so many people and laughed at so many posts.. I never really understood. My english was horrific back then ( just looking back at my old posts... yikes.. *delete* ) and so was my humor but thankfully some great people I followed reblogged stuff about homophobic people, LGBTQ+ issues, feminism and just... rudeness? I don't know. All the important things basically!!! And it got to the point where it just kind of.. clicked! It clicked in my head and I still remember the day in school when it did. All at once I couldn't laugh at the horrible jokes my ridicolous "friends" did, because all at once.. It just wasn't funny anymore. It was sexist and homophobic and rude and just.. wrong. I though to myself "wow, i actually really liked hanging out with you one day? how weird." I still don't know why I did stuff like this and why I was that kind of person but I'm glad I changed for good.
Because of my "friend issue" I explained up there, I've always been very anxious to go to school and you know.. live my life. It started with little things like walking to school and having to walk past this kiosk next to our school where people liked to hang out and smoke ( mostly the "cool peeps" ).
Every. Single. Day.
It was a literal nightmare. Just walking past it and people looking at me made me hate this place so much. Not having friends really made me tear up every night and every morning when it was time to leave for hell again and again.. and again. It just got worse and worse every day until I actually made a best friend. Remember my blog post back in Febuary about "A Night To Remember" ? The two girls in the picture are still two of my best friends but one of them became my best friend.
It started when we started talking more in school about fashion.. then Wattpad ( she's an addict ), then YouTube and then music and boys and.. fun stuff. The only thing that sucked was that she liked to ditch school a lot and she wasn't in my class so I wasn't really able to see her all the time but at least she could sweeten my anxious days a little bit ( thanks love x ).
I'm super hella proud to announce that I survived!!! I actually graduated school and my graduation was really boring, thanks for asking. ( I filmed a "Get Ready With Me for PROM" though, so you can watch it HERE [x] if you want. ) I did have fun with my sister and my bestie tho, so it wasn't that bad.. I actually do think that school was one of the biggest things this year so.. That's that.
July, 2015! ( blurred out my classmates faces in case they would feel uncomfortable )
So that was my school experience 2015.. Let's go on with..
☁️ Family ☁️
This is a topic I don't actually wanna talk about but I feel like i have some explaining to do and I also want people, who treated me really bad because of my "moods" and other shiz, to read this.
In June my grandpa had a stroke in the middle of the night. He didn't feel good, he got up to drink something, he had a stroke. My grandma woke up, called the ambulance... My grandpa still went to work the day afterwards! Needless to say he had another stroke and another one and had to go to the hospital. I don't actually wanna talk about this because I'm just gonna start crying again, but I do wanna do this so.. One day the doctors said he'd be blind when he wakes up again... Another day they said his left side would be paralysed ( idk the word to be honest. He couldn't move his intire left side, basically ) and then one day they said they'd turn off the machines. No one had to tell me, I already knew when I woke up and my mum went into my room to hug me. I really don't know why I want to share this with.. the intire internet basically but for people on tumblr/twitter/facebook or even in school who constantly asked me what's up and why I won't tell anyone what happened... That happened. So please let everyone just be when they won't tell you all the personal stuff you might really wanna know.. RIP ok, i love you!
ENOUGH SADNESS. Let's get onto the fun stuff, like
☀️ ☀️ SUMMER IN THE CITY ☀️ ☀️
I was happy enough to get weekend tickets to Summer in the City 2015 in London, England!!
If i go into detail this is gonna be the longest post EVER so I won't but I will make a whole blog post about it.. STAY TUNED AND BEAR WITH ME.
Enjoy some this fun collage I made tho!!!
( FUN! )
My Future ???
I don't know about this point but I thought I'd just include it because it's a huge thing that happened in my life?? I got an apprenticehship in this fancy a** shoe place that pays so I actually do make money now and I stopped waisting my life away.. It's fun and I really enjoy being there ( most of the days.. when I'm not so exhausted that I feel like dying ). So uh.. yea..
Onto the last point...
Friends.
As I said earlier about my best friend.. It's all super great with her and she really is the best but of course it just couldn't go well, something always has to happen and in this case.. She's moving...
To...
Feckin*.
South.
America.
( *see, told ya this is a family blog. won't swear! )
Why would she do something like that to me? I cried a lot when I found out but I mean, it's a huge thing and I'm glad we got to spend the time together we had. I'm really gonna miss her but I got the cutest photo album filled with cute memories for her so I hope she'll never forget me. I know I won't. x
( ^ that's a page from the book I'm making for her. It's not quite finished but I think it looks so cool ??? )
So yes, I think that's it for this life update kinda-thing. I really hope you enjoyed reading this, whatever this was.
Let's hope that 2/2 won't be as bad!
Stay safe, kids. Byyeee *winks*
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